And people think I make this shit up. Received in email:
Education Dodgeball Tournament
Exclusive to Education Students and their significant others.
Prizes will be given out for best dressed and best spirit!
I don't know what it is about the ESS. Honestly, could they reach out to LESS people? Who in fuck wants to play dodgeball other than some high strung gym students? Somebody honestly thought reliving the movie Dodgeball would be a fun way for everyone to bond. This is a situation where the gimps (like me) would get wailed on by those who thought this was a good idea. Could I at least get a week to get trained by an old guy in a wheelchair who whips wrenches at my face? Please? Otherwise I might be forced to bleed my own blood. And NOBODY makes me bleed my own blood.
I dunno. When I think about it, having a giant rubber ball thrown at your head at high speed is something only a few select adults can enjoy. Personally, I have no desire to relive the 5th Grade. What can I tell you? I grew up. Things change. I gave up dodgeball just like I gave up juice boxes, lunch kits and velcro laces.
Best dressed? What, like costumes? The email doesn't say anything about costumes so I'm assuming this about who looks best in a pair of shorts. I guess I'm out with my white chicken legs. But honestly, BEST DRESSED AT A DODGEBALL GAME? AM I THE ONLY ONE TAKING FUCKING CRAZY PILLS?
And oh yeah. Best Spirit?
Fuck you.
Maybe next time the ESS could pick an activity that a GREATER NUMBER OF PEOPLE might enjoy that doesn't involve the PAC or a baseball field. But what the shit do I know? When your student association is dominated by gym students, you should expect to do what they like, right? It would be foolish to think they would actually try to represent, you know, the student population or anything. Because that shit's crazy.
Am I making too much out of this? I dunno. I was really on a "live and let live" kind of kick but this shit just makes me angry. And normally, I am not an angry person.
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2 comments:
TESTIFY!
Francis, that's hilarious. I got that email too. I completely agree with you, but I don't think I could have put it so well.
Kyler.
Just a little anger there, Francis. I have never seen this side of you, but I can understand.
If the "ESS" (or a few people within it) wanna huck balls at my face, why don't they just tie me to a pole (that way I am rendered completely useless) and whip them at me. Oh, cuz then it wouldn't be a 'sport'.
I would go just to see the turnout and what people wear for costumes.
Carmen
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